random ramblings

Today was my first day back at work after 1.5 week of absence   Still didn’t feel like working hehe but tomorrow morning I already have my regular 8AM meeting, which means I have to be in the office at least by 7.45 to get the room prepared, check out a projector, etc.  *sigh*…   

I met an HR person in the restroom today and she said Hi immediately but when I turned my face to her,  she said "Are you Vera?  You look different"  hahahahaha it’s because my upper lip area is still swollen.  I was reading messages in this Orthognathic Surgery Support Group forum, and somebody who had gone through a similar surgery as me  posted a question asking how long will all the swelling linger ?  This person said all that’s left for her swelling is around her upper lip and lower nose area (it’s been 6 weeks post-op for her)  .. she feels a little "horsey"  . but I think that’s the right word to describe my current condition as well… If you see me from my side, I think you can draw a vertical line from the tip of my nose to my upper lip :p My cheeks now look fine from the front, but from the side they’re also still puffy…

Anyways.. people replied telling that it took them about 2-3 months
before the swelling is completely gone…hmmm so I still have a long way to go ..

I went out for the first time in a week today and even drove myself for a check up to the Oral Surgeon office.  It was a nice day, other than my face still looking like a mouse (Hendrik said I look like a mouse) I was feeling fine. They took 2 x-rays. I don’t know how many X-rays I’ve taken in the past years. A lot. This time I got to see the before and after x-rays. Saw that I have a good bite now and I could see the screws behind my jaws and in the middle (behind my nose?) upper jaw. He said that my Orthodontist will still have some work to do for to align my molars. Hhhh  I will see my OD next week, hopefully he won’t tell me that I will need to keep the braces for too much longer.

I came home and felt tired, so I took a nap … a long one. The OS has told me that during the recovery weeks I will easily become tired after doing any activity, still an effect of general anesthesia. That’s probably why.  I finally logged in to work at 5.30PM, checked my work emails and was surprised to see a "Decline" for someting that I sent to my boss. I sent him a dummy meeting invitation every day this week at 6-6.30am with the topic "Vera is out today" just as a reminder to him that I am out of the office. He accepted it about a month ago. How come now he decline it for tomorrow ? What’s this ? What does he mean ? There’s no comment in the Decline note. Just a Decline. Does he want to see me back in the office tomorrow ?  What should I do ?  Just thinking about this I think gave me a headache..   I need to lie down now ..

The Oral Surgeon said the surgery went very well and he was very satisfied with
it. He estimated
4-6 hours.. but they were done in 4..  everything went smoothly… 1 hour in general anesthesia usually
equals 1 week of recovery… so he said my recovery should be faster.. I don’t remember anything about the surgery other than getting myself on to the operation table and then a short chit chat about the weather with the nurses.. and I was out… next thing I was woken up and was told that they were done :p  Then I was hauled into my room.. I saw faces of friends   but I was still not 100% concious..  I did remember throwing up (later I found out it was blood) and Hendrik said that Patty ran away from the room   must be quite some scene

Another good news is that they managed to do everything from the
inside, without any external incisions. so I don’t have any external
cut… But my mouth and lips were stretched as big as it could … I stayed 2 nights in the hospital.. I was discharged Saturday afternoon..  and Saturday night, Sunday, and today went so fast… we watched movies and tv.. and it’s time for Hendrik to leave  

Right now I’m not in pain..  I just felt sleepy all the time..   I was prescribed a painkiller  and some antibiotics..  I’m using an icepack that goes around my swollen face.. my very swollen face.. I hope the swelling really goes down in the next couple of days.. My face muscles are still pretty numb from below my eyes down.. my nose, my cheeks, no feeling there still .. it hurts a little when i laugh… I’ve been taking pictures of myself .. one picture a day.. I want to laugh whenever I see myself in the pictures or the mirror.. I look like a pufferfish ..

Hendrik has stocked my fridge and cupboard with stuffs :p to last me 2+ weeks.. I will be on liquid / pureed diet for a while now..  just now I checked the porridge he left in the kitchen and I just missed him so much :’( what would I have done without him ?

less than 24 hrs away from my orthognathic surgery ..

I’m taking 2 days off (hopefully I’ll be able to use sick days instead of my vacation days) .. and then a week of recovery .. told my boss and team that I’d work from home.. 

Hendrik is coming tonight.. he’ll arrive in Indy at midnight *sigh* .. he’s very busy these days and can’t take an earlier flight… and he’ll stay here for 5 nights until Monday.  Kas & Shahreel have offered their home for my recovery week after Hendrik goes back to Austin..   I might take their kind offers.. let’s see if I’ll really need help to get around after 5 days

to prepare for the operation.. I can’t eat anything solid after midnight tonight… and nothing at all ( not even water ) after 8AM tomorrow…my surgery is scheduled at 12.45PM for 4 hours.. and I have to be in the hospital at least an hour before that…. I’ll be put to sleep and when I wake up I’ll already be in recovery room I’ll stay in the hospital overnight and the next morning if I am able to take medicine by mouth,  they will discharge me.. hopefully everything goes smoothly..

I’m much more nervous about the recovery part more than the surgery itself .. I’m most concerned about the swelling and the pain post surgery. The OS said for about 1-2 weeks I’ll be on liquid diet, and afterwards I can start adding soft foods.. I probably won’t be able to eat normally for 2 months ^_^ ..  I am hoping to lose a few good lbs hahahaha..

so dear friends.. pls pray for me yah !

I’m such a muddlehead today…  I put 3 loads of laundry into the washing machines .. 2 loads of clothes + 1 load of bedsheets + comforter .. but I only put detergent into the bedsheet load.  Came back to the laundry room an hour later to move them to the dryer .. and I just realized that I washed my clothes without the detergent !!   hmm what to do .. what to do.. I don’t have enough coins to rewash them.. neither did I have the time to wait another hour hehe so I just decided to dry them anyway and put a lot of fabric softener in the dryer…  then I put my money in wrong dryer, which was still in use by somebody else… Aargh so I lost $1 and don’t have enough money to dry my 3rd load.. so in the end I had to make a trip out to get more quarters..   hmm makanya  tinggal di Indo, punya pembantu itu enakkkkk yah !   

Yesterday I had a good time at Andy & Arine’s place..  it was a "kuih-muih party"  ..  lot of people brought agar-agar .. Arine said next time we should make a rule, no agar2 !

afterwards we played Turbo Cranium.. it was my first time playing.. fun game   lots of laugh ..  so many different activities .. draw with  eyes closed, spell backwards, hum a tune, answer trivia, acting, etc…

Oh we also played a round of Big Two ..  the card game my cousins always play back home at every family gathering hehe..  the Malaysians call it Cho Dai Di .. we call it CapSah banting  huehehe.. so at first when they’re asking me whether I know how to play Cho Dai Di.. I had no idea.. but when they started explaining the rules of the game .. ding ding ding    I’m in !    I googled it after I got home and only then I knew that it has an English name too :p 

Lots of people asked me why I am wearing braces. WHY ?

Because I have an the following conditions :
-Maxillary Hypoplasia
-Open anterior occlusal relationship
-Mandibular hyperplasia
-Unilateral Mandibular hyperplasia
-Lateral shifting of occlusion

those are the diagnosis from the Oral Surgeon (OS). In simple English, I have an underbite.. my lower teeth are more forward than my upper ones.. when I bite down, there’s a gap. A year ago, it wasn’t that bad. It’s not noticeable unless I grinned real wide with my bite closed and intentionally show it to people.

I don’t know exactly when I started having this problem. But for sure I only got it in my adult years. Sometime after I came to the States. My mom was surprised when she first noticed it in December 2003, when I went home. After talking to some people, I decided to get it fixed otherwise it might become worse as I get older, and it could really cause some problems later.

The orthodontist (OD) warned me that it’s gonna get worse before it gets better. As expected, my underbite now has become wider. When I went home last holiday, so many people noticed it and asked me about it. And I personally have become self-conscious about it. I don’t like seeing myself in pictures (see Seattle pictures and Lia’s wedding). Even with my mouth closed, it’s so obvious that I have an underbite. .. *kalo orang Sunda bilangnya cameuh*

So, underbite was the main reason, but my teeth were not really straight either. So as a bonus, I also got that straightened   Well, I can’t really tell my OD what problem I want fixed. He’s the expert. He saw my teeth, he did what he needs to do. Back in July, he told me that I was ready for surgery. My teeth alignment was good now.  I could go the surgeon now and get it done.. oh I wish it’s that simple.  I had to wait 2 months before I could get a consultation appointment with the OS. Then I was told that I need my wisdom teeth taken out because they need those spots to put the screws in :p That’s done.. and then there’s the frustrations getting the paperwork, certification, etc. with my insurance. Turns out that the OS in town was  out of the network of my insurance…:’( Almost had to start over again.. Lots of phone calls, lots of waiting, then it’s already late November.  Couldn’t find anybody within 50 miles radius.. I searched Indianapolis, Bloomington, etc. Then I just decided to forget about this for a while and enjoy a trip home. Finally in January everything was set.. in the end I’m going with the original OS in town, it’s gonna cost me a lot of money, but I need to get this done !!!

This morning I just went to the OD office for 1.5 hours. They needed to take 3 sets of impressions of my teeths plus some pictures.. Later today I have to go to the hospital to get my pre-admission testing. They’re gonna take some blood, just in case I’ll need it next week.. Yup, the surgery date is March 16th, exactly a week from today.

They’re going to operate on both jaws.. move the lower jaw back a little bit and move my upper jaw up a little bit. The incisions would be small and will be made behind my ears / below my cheek ? I’m not too concerned about that.

I already signed the consent forms.. saying that I understand all the risks associated with the surgery. There’s definitely going to be swelling, numbness, etc. Possible infections .. hmmm  Reading each risk one by one kind of make me nervous a little bit :p I had to put my initials next to each risk :p  The most fatal risk is of course, death, which is the risk of general anethesia.

mmmm I just can’t wait to get this over with..